


I used to say I wanna die before I'm old (but because of you I might think twice)

by Bagel_Bread (orphan_account)



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bucky Barnes & Peter Parker Friendship, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Bucky is sad, Endgame, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M, Not Steve Rogers Friendly, Past Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers, Past Relationship(s), Pre-Bucky Barnes/Sam Wilson, Steve Rogers is Dumb, before far from home, endgame spoilers, haven’t seen far from home, like really dumb, sam is hurt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-09
Updated: 2019-08-09
Packaged: 2020-08-13 12:35:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20174365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Bagel_Bread
Summary: He was gone, Steve Rogers left.  He left Bucky sad and broken.  He left after five years when it was only a couple minutes for Bucky.  Tony Stark was dead. So was Natasha.  Steve Rogers,  the man he helped take care of since elementary school all the way to the battle field.  Steve Rogers, the man who broke him out of brainwash.  Steve Rogers the man he fell in love with even though they could have been killed for it.  Steve Rogers, the one who found a women while Bucky was taken.  Steve Rogers, the one who saved him.  Steve Rogers, the one who left him.... /////////. Bucky and Peter become friend and Sam tried to pick up the pieces.





	I used to say I wanna die before I'm old (but because of you I might think twice)

**Author's Note:**

> HELLO! This is my first fic on ao3. I ranted then write a fic.... this isn’t NOT Steve Rogers friendly, I’m very mad at him tags will change later, I need to change a lot, it will be easier on the computer though. Please excuse spelling for the time being

** 2023**

Steve was having a conversation with Bucky, Bucky looks like he was about to cry, Steve looked like he could care less. His words sounded meaningful but his eyes deceived him.

Steve stepped onto the podium with the items in hand ready to leave this time. 

He went away and five seconds had passed, he wasn’t back. Bucky knew he wasn’t coming back, Steve didn’t even have to say it. Sam and Bruce were panicking, where was Steve? Steve left Bucky, he left Bucky to be with the girl he found while Bucky was being tortured just waiting for someone to save him, so he could get back to the man he was in love with. He left Bucky for the women who he fell in love with while Bucky was waiting to see him again. He left this entire time for the women who stole his heart, who he betrayed Bucky with. Bucky never did consider it her fault. Peggy was an amazing women, she was a fine dame, she was strong and grounded. She was a _women. _

Bucky has always considered it his fault. He was as not a petite young dame. He was large, bulky. He was not someone Steve could be with without being afraid. He was an idiot for falling in love with his best friend, he had just hoped that some day they would grow old together and that would be the end of the line. Deep down he knew that the end line would be when Steve realized that he could do better than the broken solider and left him for Peggy. He just had not counted on it in the future. 

Sam notices a man in the distance. He points out and they all realized that the man was Steve. Sam and Bucky stand together and make a silent agreement. Sam would go. As much as Bucky wanted to give Steve his word, yell and scream at him, tell him how much had loved him, he couldn’t let Steve know how broken he was, or how Steve had broken him. 

He watched when Steve hands Sam the shield. Sam looked amazed, he did the righteous stance and looked at Bucky. Bucky was heartbroken. You could see it in his stance, his eyes, he cold expression. Sam looked down at Steve and noticed the ring. Sam asked him to tell him about her, “no I don’t think I will” hearing that made Bucky let out a snort. Steve turned around a put a hand up, the walls Bucky had put up came down.

Steve was old. Peggy grew old with him. Raised children with him. Had dinner with every night. Slept with him. Was intimate with him. They grew old together. 

Bucky could feel the tears start to build up. He turned around quickly and walked away. Bruce tried to stop him, He walked through. He could hear Sam calling out to him. The tears started to fall. He kept walking. 

He walked till he was at the base, he sat and let the tears fall. He was heartbroken. Steve broke him. 

“Bucky?” Sam said 

“Huh?” Bucky said snapping his head up 

“Wow man, are you okay?” 

Bucky realized that he was still crying. His eyes were puffy, his cheeks were read and soaked with tears.

“Yeah, I’m fine” Bucky told Sam, attempting to lie.

“Man, no your not” 

Bucky didn’t answer to that, Sam was right, Bucky was not fine, he was far from fine. 

“What’s up?” Sam asked in a concerning tone 

“Why do you even care?” Bucky replied, a hint of venom in his voice.

“Because I know pain when I see it” 

“oh do you now?” 

“Yes, and I can tell that you feel it right now” 

Bucky ignored him, what did he know? He couldn’t possibly be feeling what he was feeling. The love of his life left him. He doubted Sam knew what this felt like. 

“Alright man, fine.” Sam said before leaving

Bucky started to sob, everything about him was broken, why did he even think Steve would want him? He had a metal arm, almost killed Steve on numerous accounts, was brainwashed, and now here he was, sobbing into a pillow like a teenage girl whose boyfriend just cheated on her. 

The love of his life didn’t love him, or he did, just not enough to mean anything. He remembered before Steve left, the stare he gave him, it was cold and harsh, it was at that moment that Bucky had realized that Steve wouldn’t be back for him. His world was gone, now here he was, without his best friend, whiteout his first love. That man he swore to protect didn’t need him or his protection anymore. Bucky thought he didn’t mean anything.

Outside with Steve and sam, sam was sitting on the bench with Steve. Bruce has started to pack up. 

“So you went back, got the girl?” Sam asked with a small smile 

“yes, I guess I did”. Steve replied 

“do you know what’s up with Bucky? 

“Mmh?” Steve hummed in a questioning manner

“man, he was crying, I’ve never seen him cry, she acts like a rock” 

Steve knew exactly what was wrong with Bucky, how could he not. He had caused all this. 

“I do not know” Steve replied, lying through his teeth with a sick expression 

“huh” Sam huffed out 

“Man, where are you gonna go? A nursing home? Like the one Peggy was at?” Sam said in a joking manner 

“yes” Steve replied, a serious tone

“oh....” 

“you will most likely stay a hero, I can not be there, I will get in the way”

“Okay then” 

They day for the next few hours, exchanging small talk. Bruce left, and Bucky stayed in the base, sobbing. 

**Author's Note:**

> Do not know when I will update. Hopefully once a week.


End file.
